Stop fighting over vaccinations!

This morning I woke up angry at the internet, angry at the online mommy village that has divided us. This is not an anti-vax post but neither is it a pro-vax one. I have been sitting watching and reading different posts from different pages and groups and mothers that are all just trying to do what is best for their children.

And do you know what I have seen?! A whole bunch or swearing, rudeness, name calling and arguing. It has made me so so sad. Sad that in my search for information I have come across hatred and harshness that silenced my inner voice because I was too scared to speak up and ask questions for fear of being judged and looked down upon. I was too scared to ask fellow mothers questions, questions like why did you vaccinate, do you know what ingredients those vaccinations have, how did your child feel after the shots versus how mine felt. My heart is sore because I needed to ask these questions to make my mind up and feel like I have made the right choice.

Measles south africa
nunu had measles

The one comment I saw that really hit a spot was someone saying that “That parent should have their child taken away” , WTF people!!!! Do you stop and think before you say things? I must also mention that this comment I have seen come from BOTH sides of this vaccinations debate. Maybe it is just a sensitive topic for me now because of the poor baby in Durban that is missing, but I can not imagine any mother having her child taken,the bond between mother and child should not be broken. So lets stop for a second and just imagine this, imagine having your little baby taken away from you! Then this moves on to comments like “I hope that person’s child gets sick so they can see what it is like” AGAIN from both side. Why are we wishing such terrible angry things on each other.

It takes a village to raise a child, but if the villagers are busy throwing rocks and evil words at each other then what will they ever learn from each other? Would you listen to what someone was saying to you if they include “I hoping your child gets sick” into the conversation, NO YOU WOULDNT! So why are we trying to scare people into listening to the side of the story that we believe in.

These are the options I see:

Oh shit fuck, I better run and vaccinate my child or we will not be accepted into the community, will be refused medical care and education and we will have no support or friends. . Sounds fabulous. OR I better not vaccinate my poor child because she will be damaged for life, these vaccinations are so toxic. And in the middle of these options I see a bunch of very horrible comments. I can not learn from that, its sad. All I walked away with was fear and confusion.

Vaccinations south africa

I know we are all just trying to prove our point and stand up for what we believe in but can we not do it in a better way, in a way that involves a village coming together to share information and debate and then not throwing hate on each other for the final decision we make. We will never all agree on the same thing. I believe that every mother deserves the right to learn about vaccinations, to read up about it, understand how it works and what the Ingredients are and feel safe with her final decision.

I have this debate going on in my home and all around me, My husband was never vaccinated, neither are his brothers and sister. Yet I am vaccinated,You don’t see me hating my husband. My best friend as well as a few other close friends do not vaccinate, I still love them.

So please just stop, take time to think of what you type on the internet because you could be hurting the person on the other side of the screen and I promise they will learn nothing from you if you are being rude or threatening or calling them stupid. Speak kindly and slowly, debate nicely and share information so we can all learn and do what we are ALL trying to do.. Be the best mother we can be!

And a big thank you to the people out there that are teaching and being kind and welcoming to new mothers trying to learn. There are so many wonderful people out there.

Regardless of which side of the debate you are on, do it with kindness.

11 Comments

  1. nwabisa maqungqulu

    March 11, 2017 at 9:57 am

    We all parent differently and the ways we choose do not make us better to the next parent in any way.vaccination is very controversial and I always say parents must do what they believe in and most importantly what they think is best for baby.The internet should be used to raise awarness yes but no hate speech,the approach and the manner that is used to spread awarness should not in any way be hurtful to the next person and at the end of the day it’s still a parents choice to vaccinate or not too.

  2. nwabisa maqungqulu

    March 11, 2017 at 10:01 am

    And I think we are all affected by the missing baby.I feel so emotional I live in durban and I feel it could have happened to any1 including myself.really praying for this lil babies safe return

  3. Melissa Javan

    March 11, 2017 at 10:16 am

    I think we forget that it’s none of your business what another parent does. Really, will you get through a parent with your good advice by saying bad things and insulting them? I don’t think so. It’s like people selling you insurance, you saying no, then they ask you: “what will you do if you get into an accident now”?
    Yes it takes a village to raise a child – I think we should also have empathy with each other; it’s hard being a parent.

  4. Sandy

    March 11, 2017 at 11:45 am

    Great post my love! All about making educated decisions and respecting eachothers choices.

  5. Celeste

    March 11, 2017 at 12:05 pm

    Thank you for saying what has been on my mind for years. I couldn’t agree more.

  6. stephanie videira

    March 12, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    Yep each to there own, its so sad how nasty people can be

  7. sarah-jane

    March 13, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    I really think that making choices for our little ones has got absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. I will never treat an unvaccinated child any different than I would have a vaccinated child. People are so judgemental these days. At the end of the day they are still perfect little humans that only want to be loved.

  8. Nicole

    March 14, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    I feel exactly the same way as you! In my search for more info and answers I was too scared to join a group or ask questions because of the abuse and judgement. I walked away the same way I walked in, still no answers or clear information. We are supposed to support each other as mom’s, not break each other down – even if we don’t agree on certain topics. Unfortunately I think this is the way the world has conditioned people to be, on all topics not just this one.
    Thanks for voicing your opinion for other mom’s with the same confusion.

  9. Shannon

    April 11, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    Thank you Melissa! It hurts my heart to see how nasty people can become when talking about this topic. We’ve had issues in our family too, people are so determined to prove that they’re right, they often start attacking the other party. We’re all in this together and we need to support each other! xxx

  10. Ashleigh

    April 20, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    I agree that nastiness is not okay, and totally agree that every mother is just doing what she thinks is best… but (there’s always a but) vaccinations are an important issue. They affect more than just your own child. Babies can die from whooping cough and measles, before they’re old enough to get vaccinated. If a parent refuses to vaccinate their child, who then makes a baby sick, that can have life/death consequences. It’s something worth fighting about, but no fight should be about name-calling or abuse. The focus needs to be on the facts….

  11. Beth

    April 20, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    Oh hun. I have doubts in my decision often… so I reread the research. If you ever want to talk it over with someone who is for informed choice, drop me a line. I do revisit this topic often and have had family members get passive aggressive about my decision on facebook. So I get the fear and that you feel you have to censor yourself.

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