What is mother’s day when your mother is dead?
This has been strong on my mind lately, the question of what is the meaning of mothers day and also what do you do to fill the gap when your mother has passed away?
These day’s, for weeks leading up to mothers day there is an intense media hype around the day. Most of the social media posts are somewhere along the line of post a photo of you and your mom, tag your mom, what are you going to do for your mother this mothers day. But not once anywhere have I seen a post that is some how directed for those that no longer have their mothers.
My mother died when I was 16 so that is so long ago it seems like a lifetime without her but for some reason the endless pain and suffering inside when it comes to missing your mother just never seems to end. It is the one loss and sadness that seems to be so inner built that it is difficult to shake or get rid of. Now for mothers day it has become more of a remembering my mother and thinking about what I wish I could do with her on this day. Because she passed away when I was so young it is hard for me to even imagine since I never got the chance to sit down and talk with her over a glass of wine and have an adult conversation with her.
But what to do with yourself on mothers day if you no longer have a mother.. For me It has transformed into spending time with my husband and daughter and the love they show me on mothers day because I am now a mother. I have shifted my mothers day focus to being a mother for my children and I now watch as my daughter celebrates me on this day as I would have my mother. Or tho this does not take away the sadness of not having a mother of my own but the distraction and love shown towards me fills the gap in my heart.
So anyways.. I guess my point is that this mothers day, Let us take the time to give our thoughts to all the mothers that are no longer with us. Let us not loose the meaning of mothers day in the rush to buy fancy presents and spend money, but rather just give such grateful thanks for the true and irreplaceable love that our mothers actually give us for that is the meaning of mothers day! To show thanks and appreciation for all the hard work, sweat and tears our mothers put in to bring us to where we are today.
and finally, in the moment of it all. Take this chance to show your mother you love her because you never know when she will no longer be here.