Hey everyone! I know it has been a while since I wrote a post and gave any updates on whats going on, If I think about it I actually haven’t even written much about this pregnancy. I thought I would ramble on a bit about my crazy birth plans, the hypnobirthing I discovered and general feelings at the moment.
I definitely did not plan to get pregnant, in fact we had said that we were almost 100% at a decision to not have any more kids. I still honestly do not know how I got so lucky to fall pregnant like this, We struggled long and hard with our other two pregnancies, I just couldn’t fall pregnant and it was such a stress. I really did not think that I would fall pregnant when we were not trying to , or even trying not to.
The start of this pregnancy sucked, not because of the baby or because I did not want the baby. Just because of other people and so many negative responses that I was met with, accompanied with sudden “bad news” life changes it all just felt very unhappy, I felt so robbed of the joy of even being pregnant, so abandoned by people that are supposed to uplift and stand by you.
As I now head towards being 6 months pregnant, I have tuned out all the opinions and pregnancy comments from everyone and It is so nice to just focus on me and the baby. I am so excited for this little boy that we have been blessed with, he is really so meant to be for me and I can not wait to meet him!
My pregnancy is very healthy and uncomplicated, other than picking up a truck loan of weight already there is nothing much happening. He is a healthy active baby that already plays and kicks when I tap at my tummy. I feel good and happy and mostly just excited now.
Free Birthing What?!
When it comes to birthing I have learnt so much!! When I was young and before I had kids I would always say that OMG just give me a c-section because I do not want to labor it must be so painful and horrible. I guess this is a normal thought for most people, but then I fell pregnant with my first and started wanting a natural birth but I didn’t get it, Instead I got the c-section and I hated it. I realized It wasn’t what i wanted birth to be like, it was all so cold and impersonal and everything hurt. I felt not like I had giving joyful birth but rather like I had had a difficult painful surgical procedure and now could hardly move. I just did not understand it, I had watched other women have c-sections and they seemed to not mind it and were all happy with it, what was I missing? There is nothing wrong with getting a c-section, it is this wonderful modern day procedure that saves lives. But what was I then missing? I figured it out, It was because my life did not need saving, neither did my baby’s. We were healthy and all we actually needed was another week or so to naturally go into labor. The Key missing piece for me was in my emotions, it was not what I wanted.
With Violets Birth I started fighting for the natural birth I wanted, I did hours and hours and days of research and reading and was shocked that women actually are told that they can not have a natural birth after a c-section, I was even more shocked when the Dr I had gone to see had actually lied to me and my husband about the statistics and fact about a vbac birth and just completely left out the statistics about repeat c-section risks. I realized that It was more convenient and less effort for the Dr to just tell me I was gonna die if I attempted a vbac than actually take the time to help me achieve the birth I wanted. I never went back to that Dr and continued my search for kind and understanding birth care. Violet was born at home in my lounge with our midwife present and it was the best thing I have ever done! It changed me as a women, it gave me this inner self confidence and strength and just awe at how amazing god made us that we are perfectly designed to naturally birth a baby, a new life.
Anyways.. you get the point. But here I am pregnant again and I now know all the knowledge I have learnt and know that I can trust my body to birth correctly so this is what I am going to do. I am going to birth at home with just my husband and our doula and it is going to be amazing and romantic! I don’t think we have ever been this excited about anything before! It feels so relaxed and I am actually looking forward to the ‘giving birth” part. The definition of a free birth is a birth that is completely natural with no medical intervention at all, no one telling you what to do or performing any checks on you during labor.
I have come to realize that most women, this includes me at a stage, have a fear of birth. We fear it because we read stories about how painful and horrible it is and how its hospitals and Dr’s and drips and people all up in your private parts trying to force a baby out and most likely tear you open a bit. Gosh even I get scared when I read that!
But Birth doesn’t have to be like this! at all actually! You do have the right to tell the Dr that you do not want a drip, or any injections or needles, you can tell them not to touch you or do any internal exams. There is actually no need for internals during a normal healthy labor. Doesn’t it sound better if you think of birth as calm, not as painful as you thought, romantic, no one touching you except your husband for emotional support. Dim lights, calm music.. Hospitals are already starting to be more open to a women’s wishes and you can write out a whole birth plan of what you want and do not want.
I always tell people to just fight for the birth that you want, do not be scared to ask questions and question your Dr, or get another Dr or try a different route. Trust your body to do what god created it to do, and do it in a way that makes you smile and feel happy and comfortable! You do not have to be scared and unhappy. Tell them what you want, if what you want is a c-section then do it, a home birth then do it! Research and make sure what you are comfortable with.
If you are looking for me ill be birthing my baby calmly on my comfortable bed at home with my husband.
Now just a note or two for all the negative people reading this, Yes I have a backup plan lol, do not be stupid now! I am not just ignorantly birthing somewhere that I am in extreme danger. We have done research, talked to midwives and planed for a whole list of things that could happen.
Hypnobirthing what exactly?!
So the other day I started looking into hypnobirthing, at first I thought it sounded very hippie and I wasn’t sure I could get on with something that much out there.I started listening to the soundtracks provided, a relaxation music and at first I couldn’t do it, I was put off. My mind just couldn’t switch off and be as relaxed as the voice on the music was telling me to be. Since I have nothing but and time till this baby comes, I decided to just carry on with it.
The point of the hypnobirthing as I understand it is to be calm, relaxed, happy and in a good state of rest during your labor. I have read many many stories of women who swear that the birth wasn’t even painful at all for them after they did the hypnobirthing. So I have become determined to try this method so I can report back afterwards and tell you all how it went.
I understand now after all the reading and listening that it is less “hippie” and more just how the body is designed to work. It is about relaxing your muscles during labor so that your body can move the baby out without you fighting it and being tensed up. If you tense up a muscle while it is trying to pull the other way, its gonna hurt. So the point of this is to be relaxed and not scared and just let your body get on with that its supposed to do.
so its been about 2 weeks of listening to the relaxation music and reading this wonderful book, and I am now starting to get into it. I can now feel like I am able to relax when I need to and I feel confident that if I keep practicing I will definitely have a fabulous labor.
I will keep you all updated with how this goes as I carry on. If you have any other questions or birth stuff you wanna chat about then just comment below. It is always nice to hear other peoples thoughts and experiences.